Oh, Every time we say goodbye I die a little
Every time we say goodbye I wonder why a little
Why the gods above me who must be in the know
Think so little of me ,They allow you to go
And when you're near ,There's such an air of spring about it
I can hear a lark somewhere begin to sing about it ,There's no love song finer
But how strange the change from major to minor
Every time we say goodbye
I see the above image every weekday morning from our window, usually around 8.15 am. Ior and Toby starting out their day. And i can't help to feel 'sad' a little, seeing my little boy off to his 'second home' so early in the morning. As i have started work, we have to succumb to the option of sending Toby to full day school cum childcare. Whilst, Elsy is at home with our housekeeper cum nanny.
Never a day goes by without me feeling guilty about having to trust my children' s care to other people when i have to go to work. No, i am not going to rant why can't i quit my job and be a SAHM. Because we do have our reasons and considerations, and i am trying to be 'at peace' about it.
As consolation, Toby does becoming more independent, and his vocabulary is improving. Elsy is growing fine as well. Lord always keep and care for our children, we are equipped with good helper (though can be better at some things, well its very difficult to find a good one. It's like looking for a husband/wife hahaah).
Speaking of husband, i am blessed with a hands-on husband-father. Ior has been fantastic with our children, he bathes, he feeds, he plays, he sings, he tucks our babies, he does grocery, he bought me cranberry juice (so as to increase milk supply). He's not a man with many words, but i know he loves us through all things he's done. I love you my Kriwil.....
It's been a while since we are praying to God for a job that is flexible for me. Flexible in terms, i can work from home, flexible working hours. So that i can have more time with my children in their early golden years. However, till i write this note , i am still under payroll of my employer. When i think about the 'wants' i am asking God, actually i do have the 'benefit' of what i have been asking for in my present employer. I was a bit down, why is it so difficult for me to land a new job. Usually, either because of my notice period( i have to submit 2 months notice), they can't afford me, or my zero travelling tolerance.
Anyway, i have so much to be grateful for. Our Lord in heaven never abandons and we lives comfortably. May i always be reminded how blissful i am.
Still, i can't help not to feel 'die' a little when i see Toby's going to school and left Elsy at home when i off to work.
My darling pumpkin and munchkin, mommy loves you very much......